Best Videogame Weapons Ever! - A 1UP classic from July 15, 2005

Instead of ranking these in order (as is the cheap way to do a blog) I decided to make a list of the most awesome videogame weapons and why I feel they are the best weapons ever.

First up is the Gunsword from Final Fantasy. Gun swords have been done in fantasy, anime and RPG for a long while. Square brought this weapon to the masses in their recent FF games and interest in gunswords has never been higher. Tell me you wouldn't feel like a badass brandishing a gunsword.

The only thing that might make you feel more badass than gunswords are never-ending monster pistols that steal souls. I'm talking about Grave's "Cerberus" from Gungrave. The guns have plenty of kickback but when you're undead I suppose they don't matter. Throw in Grave's coffin-cannon and you are a walking assault force.

The next item on the list may seem kind of silly but tell me you didn't want a racoon tail when you were a kid! Mario's costumes from Super Mario Bros. 3 were a great addition on top of the Fire Flower and Power Mushroom that had been featured in previous titles. Now Mario could destroy certain levels with ease if he was wearing the right suit. The Tanooki suit even allowed Mario or Luigi to turn into a statue and avoid detection. James Bond's tux only has exploding cufflinks?!

One of the most visually impressive weapons in recent history are the Blades of Chaos from God of War. The downside to Kratos' featured weapons are that they are permanently attached to the arms. These weapons would be a hassle in real life. Can you imagine trying to go to the bathroom with a chain wrapped around your forearm? Aside from that the Blades of Chaos have lots of things going for them. They have reach, can be whipped, spun and charged with fire. They are among the most powerful magic weapons on this list or in any game and above all look badass!

As great as the Blades of Chaos are, they can't do half of the stuff that Diskarmor can. Rygar was the first game to feature the weapon-on-a-chain dynamic in arcade adventures. Capcom's Bionic Commando and Black Tiger come in very close second! What makes Diskarmor so great is it has offensive and defensive ability. It has the reach, spin and hook of the Blades of Chaos but can also be used to protect the hero from attacks. Can you imagine how kick-ass it would be to have a Blade of Chaos in one hand and wield the Diskarmor in the other? That would be beyond badass!

I'm going old-school on this one. I think that the mask of Splatterhouse is one of the best videogame weapons ever. By donning the mask you would gain superhuman strength, toughness and healing factor. Not unlike the Jason character from Friday the 13th for whom the mask was patterened after. The only downside to wearing the mask was becoming swollen with muscles and bald. But I hear that bald is the new black. I'd like to see what can be done while wearing the mask, handling Diskarmor and a Blade of Chaos!

It doesn't matter if I'm talking about Super Star Wars on the Super Nintendo or Knights of the Old Republic on the Xbox. The Lightsaber is and always will be one of the best videogame weapons ever. It slices armor and metal like butter and can deflect laser blasts. I wonder if it can deflect bullets though? The downside is that the lightsaber is only as good as the person wielding it. You'd have to be a Jedi master to avoid cutting yourself in two if you decided to handle a lightsaber in real life. Mace Windu is one such master!

Since I am more likely to hurt myself while wielding a lightsaber is is a fair bet to say that I'd settle for the BFG (iD's not-so-little-secret) or the Bolt Gun from Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War. Both guns pack a whallop and are among the best weapons ever put in any videogame. The green radioactive glow of the BFG discharges can't be very healthy but if you ever have to clear out a room quick that is the weapon of choice. The Bolt Gun is a bruiser of a weapon, instead of shooting bullets or nails it shoots bolts, the thick bolts that are used to put down livestock. What it does to people just ain't right.

Some of the best videogame weapons have appeared in the Zelda series. Swords and shields have been done before, as have bows, arrows and magic potions. The weapons that Link sought out were unique and powerful, the player learned how to handle a little wooden sword in a game like the Wind Waker before he ever got a chance to use a real one. Details like this are great in a game. As far as great weapons go, an Ocarina of Time can be just as useful as any sword and shield. Not to mention that the Triforce is possibly the most powerful item (is it a weapon?) on this list.

I am a sucker for the ranged weapons in God of War and Rygar but my favorite was always the Bionic Claw from Bionic Commando. Spider-Man relies on web cartidges to swing from building to building. If Spidey runs out of fluid then he has to take a taxi. Both Rygar and Kratos have to use their respective weapon to do the same thing, the Bionic Commando was the weapon. He could use a gun, fight and advance through levels with his Bionic Claw. I'd like to see what Hideo Kojima could do with a character like that... since Capcom never brought him back. Character art by Joachim Barrum.

The electric guitar of Johnny Whatever seems to have the same effect on solid creatures that the Proton Pack of the Ghostbusters had on ghosts. Both weapons were great in their respective games and would be awesome to have in real life.

If you thought the Proton Pack was an odd weapon how about the Katamari or the Disk of Tron? The disk may be a frisbee in real life, but in the virtual world it was made of energy and could deflect attacks, fly and return with the flip of the wrist. The Karamari may not seem like a weapon but I figure it is. If someone gives you the hassle wouldn't it be great to just roll them up into a ball and launch them into space? I'm just saying... odd as both items are, they can still be used as weapons.

Of all the weapons on this list and of all the weapons masters there may be one that stands head and shoulders above them all (even Mace Windu). That would be Strider Hiryu from the Strider games. Strider's weapon of choice was the Cypher, a plasma-powered sword that could be swung like a nightstick and chopped through armor as fast as a lightsaber. Strider also had access to some other great weapons including servo robots, robotic Hawks and Panthers, even his glider was a stealthy weapon. What I wouldn't give for my very own Cypher and stealth gilder.

The last item on my list may just be the greatest videogame weapon ever devised. The purists among you may call my selection B/S, but I don't care. The Sixmachine from Viewtiful Joe is not only a mode of transportation, but a transformer as well. The Sixmachine is a race car, jet, drilling machine, submarine, cannon and robot rolled into one! Tell me Mario wouldn't rather have a Sixmachine than a Tanooki suit! Sixmachine just kicks ass!

So there's my list of Best Videogame Weapons Ever. Like it or lump it let's here what you have to say.

HONORABLE MENTION:
Sweet Tooth and Dark Tooth's ride from Twisted Metal are very gangster weapons, but I see them more as sweet rides than videogame weapons. Perhaps I will make a list of the best videogame vehicles ever in the future?! Hmm...

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The Abridged History of the Brawler, part 27

Players have enjoyed videogames for many reasons. One of the biggest draws was the escapism that gaming provided. Where else could regular people race around a European circuit in a million dollar car? Create or destroy an entire continent? Or go sky-surfing on a stolen jet? Gamers could play the role of some of the most amazing fictional characters ever created. The better the game was at creating that illusion of reality, rather than realism, the easier it was for gamers to identify with those characters and lose themselves in the experience. For brawling games players could play the role of the ultimate tough guys and girls against impossible odds. However not every gamer had the fortune of living near an arcade or had a chance to share in the group experience. For them the single-player game and hero featured within had to become even greater than those heroes in the arcades.
As far as brawlers went Thomas the Kung-Fu Master did very well in the one-player arena. He could beat up an army of opponents and dragons using his hands and feet only. Irem laid the foundation for most console brawlers as much as he did they arcade titles. But when developers cranked up those abilities and made the archetype as fantastic a martial arts master as ever written, say Ken from Hokuto No Ken (HNK) / Fist of the North Star, then the genre became instantly more appealing Ken was a master of a powerful fictional martial art. In the manga and anime series he could be seen killing people with a simple touch and make them explode with gruesome results with a punch or a kick.

Sega discovered the visceral draw of the character in the 1986 game Hokuto No Ken, which was localized to Black Belt Master in the USA because Nintendo had the HNK license in North America. The gameplay was very similar to Kung-Fu Master only that opponents would explode after Ken punched or kicked them. As technology got better this experience was made more memorable with the updated 16-bit Genesis graphics in Last Battle aka Shin Seikimatsu Kyuseishu Densetsu Hokuto no Ken. The 1989 title was for many in the USA a taste of the type of super fighter that could be at the core of a single-player brawling experience. The character was amazing in game Players could kick through ranks of soldiers with ease and even punch the blade edge of an axe as it flew towards them.

The character would come in and out of popularity over the decades. Appearing in fighting games, arcade games and console games for the better part of 30 years. His most recent appearance in Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage was one of the better 3D efforts. Developed by Koei in 2010 it showed off the experience that they had creating several generations worth of hack-and-sash brawling titles. But before I talk about Koei I would like to digress and make a point of how much HNK had influenced the Japanese developers, especially those at Capcom.

Street Fighter was not the only Capcom title influenced by HNK. The brawler Viewtiful Joe was part henshin / sentai Japanese super hero study and part impossible brawler. Clover Studios, a Capcom founded company, released the title in 2003. It gave a new generation of console fans a reason to celebrate the hand-to-hand type brawlers that the previous generation had enjoyed so much. By keeping the game lighthearted they managed not to scare off parents with a harsh rating.

The same studio turned around and released the 3D brawler God Hand in 2006 for those that wanted to see the over-the-top characters and violence of HNK. The game was a homage to HNK as much as it was a parody of the genre. Players either got the jokes or were confused and possibly scared by them. As much fun as it was punching people into oblivion, several studios noticed that the genre could still be improved upon. That was why during the formative years of the brawler many different types of gameplay elements were explored. From fists and feet, to swords and guns, there would be a brawler for everyone.

Capcom did well for themselves in using the period piece Dynasty Wars as the backdrop to one of their early brawlers. Unfortunately the 1989 game lacked the control, design, animation and polish of Final Fight, which was also released the same year. What it did do however was help show that period piece brawlers, in this case one set during the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, could make for a great adventure title.

A few years later when the publisher had more experience they released a superior title with Warriors of Fate. The 1992 brawler was every bit as important to the legacy of the brawler as the King of Dragons or Knights of the Round. However that period-piece brawler would not really come to a head until Koei took the classical worlds and put them in 3D.

Dynasty Warriors started out as a 3D fighting game series around 1997. However the studio quickly shifted to the 3D brawler instead. Each battle became a part of a narrative where players got a chance to lead their general into battle and take out entire regiments single-handedly while the rest of the soldiers cleaned up the remaining few. While the game did not have the gore of the HNK titles, the characters were still capable of taking down dozens of soldiers with each attack. By 2011 Koei had released the 7th entry into the series with characters, moves and techniques even more fantastic than the previous generations.

Q Entertainment was eager to try and outdo Koei at every level of the genre when they released N3: Ninety-Nine Nights in 2006. The body count went up exponentially for the 3D hack-and-slash brawler. Now gamers were capable of wiping out hundreds of opponents with a furious combo instead of dozens. They did not need to be part of a group or even visit the arcade to experience the mayhem that the genre provided. Yet the arcade was where Capcom had their eyes set that same year.

Capcom had announced that they would release a new fighting game in 2006. Many gamers went crazy with the news, speculating that Capcom were about to release the long-awaited Street Fighter IV. Instead, SF IV producer Yoshinori Ono unveiled the War of the Grail. It was a multi player arcade hack-and-slash. Not unlike Dynasty Warriors or N3 players assumed the role of a super-powered general of a mythical army as they did battle against other fantastic armies.

The character designs were created by Capcom great Kinu Nishimura. Kinu was an understudy of AKIMAN, the designer behind Chun-Li, before she worked on War of the Grail she was the lead artist on Street Fighter III.

The game was cancelled before it got into arcades for testing. Yoshinori went on to work with artist Daigo Ikeno in designing the new characters for Street Fighter IV. However that did not mean that the hack-and-slash brawler would not be revisited by Capcom.

In 2011 they announced a new game titled Code of Princess for the Nintendo 3DS. From the media previews and the early screenshots many are likening this title to Guardian Heroes, with only less characters and archetypes to play as. Judging from the screenshots I am inclined to agree. Best of all the familiar designs from Kinu will be used to design the new crop of heroines.

Yet Capcom would not make their biggest contribution to the changing face of the brawler through hack-and-slash efforts. Anyone that was involved in gaming over the past decade could tell you were they rewrote the book on the run-and-gun as well. As always if you enjoyed this blog and would like to sponsor me please visit my Patreon page and consider donating each month, even as little as $1 would help make better blogs and even podcasts!